The Art of Grit

“You don’t meet the people you love, you recognize them.” Anna Gavalda’s words are simple yet profound, capturing a truth that many of us experience but struggle to put into words. It’s a truth that I’ve come to understand more deeply over time: the most significant people in our lives aren’t just those we happen to meet, but those we feel we’ve always known. We don’t simply encounter them—we recognize them.

I remember meeting one of my closest friends for the first time. We had exchanged a few words in passing, nothing more, yet something about that brief interaction made me feel as though I had known her my entire life. It was like catching up with an old friend rather than introducing myself to a stranger. There was a quiet sense of recognition that went beyond the surface—something deeper, unspoken, but very real. Have you ever felt that, too? A connection that felt so natural it seemed inevitable, as if your paths were always meant to cross?

We often go through life searching for meaningful connections, hoping to find the people who will truly understand us. But when we meet those individuals, it doesn’t feel like we’ve found something new—it feels like a homecoming. Think about the relationships in your life that are most important to you. Were they the result of effort and seeking, or did they just click, as though everything fell into place effortlessly?

For me, the realization came gradually. Over time, I began to see that the people I love most didn’t come into my life because I was actively looking for them. Instead, they appeared when I was ready to recognize them—when I was open enough, present enough, and honest enough with myself to see the connection. It was like a mutual recognition, a knowing that went both ways. I wasn’t meeting someone new—I was reconnecting with someone my heart had always known.

Have you ever experienced that moment where you meet someone, and within minutes, you’re talking as if you’ve known each other for years? There’s an ease to the conversation, an unspoken understanding that makes you feel safe, comfortable, and seen. Those are the moments when love, in all its forms—romantic, friendship, or even familial—takes root, not because we force it, but because we finally recognize it.

I also think this recognition extends beyond our relationships with others. It’s about recognizing ourselves too. The people we love often mirror back the parts of ourselves that we cherish most, or even the parts we’ve forgotten. They remind us of who we are when we’re at our best—authentic, vulnerable, and real. And sometimes, it’s through their eyes that we come to recognize our own strength, compassion, or resilience.

There’s a lesson in that for all of us: the importance of being open, both to the people we meet and to ourselves. When we allow ourselves to be fully seen, the people who are meant to be in our lives will recognize us, just as we recognize them. And maybe that’s why the most powerful relationships aren’t the ones we work so hard to find, but the ones that feel like they’ve always been there, just waiting for us to notice.

So, who in your life have you recognized? Think about those moments when you’ve felt that deep sense of connection, not just with others, but within yourself. Are you allowing yourself to be seen and recognized by the people who matter most?

Ultimately, love isn’t something we stumble upon; it’s something we uncover. The people we recognize were never really strangers—they were always meant to walk alongside us. All we had to do was be ready to recognize them.