The Art of Grit

(8 Minutes)

“A genuinely happy person is one who has rendered others happy.” — Daisaku Ikeda

Happiness is often treated like a destination: a final state to achieve, possess, and defend. But if we pause for a moment, and really sit with Daisaku Ikeda’s words, something deeper begins to emerge. What if happiness isn’t something we achieve alone at all? What if, at its most authentic, happiness is less about possession and more about participation — a dynamic, living thread between ourselves and others?

Ikeda’s view—that true happiness is found in the happiness we help create for others—suggests that joy is not an isolated phenomenon but a shared one. In helping others smile, heal, hope, we find our own spirit rising. Their happiness becomes the mirror in which we glimpse our own.

At first glance, this sounds straightforward: make others happy, and you will be happy too. But is it really that simple? Is happiness truly a cause-and-effect equation, like pressing a button and watching a light turn on? Or is it something more circular, more intertwined—an experience where giving and receiving become indistinguishable?

Can Our Happiness Be the Source of Others’ Happiness?

It’s tempting to believe that if we cultivate enough personal joy, we can “infect” others with it — that our inner radiance alone can lift the moods around us. And there is some truth to this. Emotions are indeed contagious; neuroscience has shown that mirror neurons in the brain cause us to unconsciously mimic and internalize the emotional states of others. A genuinely peaceful and joyful person tends to create ripples far beyond their immediate presence.

But if we look closer, we notice that personal happiness tends to reach its richest, most enduring expression when it flows outward — when it’s shared, not hoarded. A happy person who isolates themselves from others may eventually feel a hollowing. Our happiness seems to seek expression through connection, almost as if its very nature demands motion outward, not inward. In this way, happiness doesn’t just cause others’ happiness; it longs to.

Can Rendering Others Happy Be the Source of Our Own Happiness?

Conversely, Ikeda’s emphasis lies here: we find joy not by seeking it directly, but by focusing on the joy of others. It’s a reversal of the typical inward search. Instead of asking “How can I be happier?” the question becomes “How can I lift someone else today?” And somewhere along that path, almost invisibly, we find that our own spirit has been lifted as well.

Interestingly, this idea isn’t confined to Ikeda alone. Adam Smith — most commonly associated with economics — offered a philosophical angle on this concept in The Theory of Moral Sentiments. Long before writing The Wealth of Nations, Smith argued that our happiness is deeply tied to our ability to imagine and care about the experiences of others. He suggested that sympathy (what we now call empathy) is not just a social nicety but a fundamental source of personal satisfaction. When we witness the happiness of someone else—especially when we know we had a hand in it—our emotional systems respond as if we ourselves have been enriched.

Smith and Ikeda both seem to suggest: happiness is not a personal project. It is a relational one.

Is Happiness a Straight Line or a Circle?

So is happiness causal—first I do this, then I get that—or is it circular, feeding and feeding again like an endless loop?

Reality seems to favor the circle.

When we approach others with the intent to uplift them, we inevitably awaken something in ourselves. When we cultivate genuine happiness within, it naturally spills outward, encouraging others. And around and around it goes. Trying to separate who benefits first—ourselves or others—is like trying to separate a flame from the light it gives. They arise together.

This doesn’t mean we should serve others with a hidden agenda of personal gain; sincerity matters. Actions motivated by expectation often breed disappointment. True happiness seems to blossom best when the giving itself is the reward — when we take pleasure in another’s smile not because it proves our worth, but simply because it is beautiful.

In this view, happiness is less like a trophy to be won and more like music to be played together: not mine or yours, but ours. Something created, shared, and carried forward through acts of kindness, empathy, and presence.

A Gentle Invitation

Maybe today, the question isn’t “Am I happy enough?” but rather “How can I participate in the joy of another?”

Maybe it’s less about chasing a personal ideal and more about stepping into the flow of life — giving, receiving, creating, and witnessing happiness in motion.

And maybe, just maybe, in this infinite exchange, we find the kind of happiness that no achievement alone could ever deliver.